Lest you think this is some front for a bunch of guys who just don’t want to shave, our Ethics Committee has come up with Mustache Growing Rules.
This year (2015), we are going “NO RULES” – anything goes. Our rules are few, but important.
- October 30 is “Clean Shaven Day”.
Participants will shave their faces clean of any and all facial hair. This includes, but is not limited to: mustaches, beards, goatees, muttonchops, chinstraps, soul patches, sideburns that extend below the top of the earlobe, and Van Dykes.
- For the duration of five weeks sweet Mustaches will be grown for the world to behold. During that time, there will be weekly Mustache Checkpoint Days at The House of Targ.
All involved will shave their mugs on Checkpoint Days, save for the area above their upper lips. No fair growing a full beard or goatee for a month, and then shaving down to just the Mustache. The Mustache must only stretch from one corner of your mouth to the other corner. No Hitler Mustaches are allowed. Also, no John Waters Mustaches. We’re aiming for Burt Reynolds style ‘staches here. The use of growth hormones and coloring agents is not condoned or sanctioned by Mustaches for Kids. We feel that these Mustache Growing Performance Enhancers violate the spirit of the contest.
- Though the Mustache Checkpoints are not mandatory – Mustaches for Kids believes in the Honour System – they are a great opportunity to encourage your Mustache
brothers-in-armsfriends during the growing season. Mustaches for Kids representatives will be available at all Checkpoints to address any Mustache questions or concerns. And we will drink beer.
- With such burgeoning Mustaches firmly in place, fundraising should be a walk in the park. The minimum Pledge Goal for each Grower should be $250.00 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, but in no way should anyone be discouraged from participating in the contest because he doesn’t think he can make the Pledge Goal – $5 or $5,000, it goes to a good cause. Please be aware of and obey all local laws when soliciting donations.
- While Mustaches for Kids does not endorse trash-talking or making disparaging comments of any kind about another Grower’s Mustache, there are a number of unsubstantiated medical theories that Mustache Abuse stimulates follicle growth.
- When all is said and done, a Mustache Competition will be held, where a panel of judges will select the Sweetest ‘Stache, using a complicated and very scientific set of criteria. Mustaches will be judged solely on these standards; race, creed, nationality, sexual orientation, and popularity will not be taken into consideration. As in past years, booing will not be tolerated, especially by rival competitors; this is for charity, after all. Much like the Mustache Checkpoints, the final judging should foster a party-like atmosphere to celebrate the fruits of everyone’s Mustache labors. And we will drink beer.
- While the Growing Season will end after five weeks, there is no deadline for fundraising. Ideally all donors will use the online Paypal option for sending in money. All donations will be credited to the appropriate grower, provided your donor indicates this in the field provided. Otherwise, cheques should be made payable to the Make-A-Wish Foundation with “Mustaches for Kids” written in the Memo portion. All proceeds from the Mustaches for Kids Mustache Growing Contest and Fundraiser go to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is a non-profit organization dedicated to granting the wishes of children with terminal or life-threatening illnesses. Donations submitted by cheque are tax-deductible. You can hand off cheques to a Mustache Representative at the Mustache Checkpoints, at the Mustache Contest, or mail them to:
Mustaches for Kids
25 Hilliard Ave
Nepean, ON K2E 6B9
- Finally, while merchandising is encouraged, please do not violate any local, state, or national statutes. For example, sales tax regulations may apply. And all profits must be donated as well.
- Good luck and good growing.